6/30/2020 0 Comments My Pregnancy Journey with ArcherIn April 2016 we (ok mostly me) decided we would start trying for a baby. We had been together 2 years, known each other for 10 years and been living together for 1. My partner was a student but had a job offer which would mean us moving to a small town down south at the end of 2016 or beginning of 2017. I wanted a summer baby and would be unlikely to find a job post move anyway but my partner would actually be earning money, so we decided to try for 2 months and if nothing we would wait a full year until a more “ideal” time. That 1st month however, my partners grandfather got really sick so a week was spent in a study-work-hospital cycle followed by him sadly passing away right before our 2 year anniversary. With all this happening we only got to “try” for our baby once and it didn’t feel right to force anything.
In May, right after the funeral we went to China for our 2nd anniversary and both my partner and my best friend had been saying ‘your pregnant for sure’ because I had been grumpy but I did not believe it all. I had no sore boobs or ‘normal’ symptoms, my period was late but that was normal for me to have it be irregular and we had had lots of added stress with granddads passing. I also thought that for sure with Murphy's Law that my painful cramps would appear just Intime to hang around for our little trip. I did have a moment of nausea on our very turbulent flight but half the flight could be heard vomiting! Later in the week I found myself unable to finish a meal which was really strange but I didn’t test in china then not understand the result. Plus I did not think I was pregnant at all- there is no way we would get pregnant from 1 time right. There was just no way. The day we came home I did a blue dye test and there was the faintest line. I thought it was just an evaporation line and not a positive so sent a photo to my friend saying “See- I'm not” the reply was “no- you are! Get a digital test”. I rolled my eyes and went and got one hours later to prove her wrong. To see the ‘yes’ made my eyes widen and my friend just say ‘I told you so’. I started thinking of a cute way to tell my partner but at some point that day he said ‘oh did you get a test’ and I just had a goofy grin that gave it all away. From that day I woke up every morning and said “happy healthy baby, happy healthy pregnancy, happy healthy mumma, happy healthy birth” From being at my friends waterbirth year earlier I already knew I loved the birth centre for its relaxing environment and I had a major fear of getting an epidural so I liked that it wouldn’t even be an option for me if I went there, but I could still transfer to the hospital easily if I changed my mind. I was always the 'sick and unhealthy' friend cancelling on my friends, being off school etc though so I was really determined to have this be the one thing my body was capable of doing. We did a tour of the birth centre at around 14weeks followed an hour later by our public hospital options (for me private wasn’t an option due to money and the high c-section rates these hospitals did have). The difference in the 2 environments and the way the staff spoke to us on these tours just completely made the decision for us that birth centre was the way to go. They told us our midwife would be mostly visiting us at home anyway so we were left with no barriers or concerns about parking and the longer distance to the Birth Centre. Our family, friends and strangers, were not on board though. They didn't know anything about the birth centre or physiological birth but had determined that birth was scary and painful and that I wasn't capable of going drug free (because apparently strangers can tell that by looking at you) so everyone I spoke to projected their birth fears and myths onto me. I quickly left social media to focus on the birth I wanted and knew I could have and had evidence to support. Nothing was going to cloud the amazing experience I'd had of witnessing my friends gentle, calm waterbirth previously. It was also amazing to learn that one of my friends was pregnant with her 5th baby and due 8weeks after me and another with her 3rd 16 weeks after me. So I had ‘Pregnancy Buddies’. Throughout my pregnancy I became more physically active then I had ever been. I did pregnancy belly dancing from 14weeks, pregnancy yoga from 18weeks (I was so UNACTIVE before that I even hated yoga), walked daily and also joined a water aerobics class. Yoga had great benefits and taught us all about breathing and positions for labour. I desperately wanted to do HypnoBirthing but at the time the cost was too high for us. Since then I have learnt that my birthing experience is more important than what my wedding day was. I wish I could go back, shake myself and yell 'SPEND THE MONEY, YOU ARE WORTH IT!' I read the book and had the mindset of a HypnoBirther. I had been doing affirmations and blocking out negative stories and not even realising it. My pregnancy went very smoothly and easily. I had no morning sickness. I dry renched maybe 2 or 3 times total. So we began a ritual of waking on a Friday morning (my ‘turn over day’), reading the weekly report from the pregnancy app on the size of baby, then using a doppler my friend loaned me and eventually taking a bump date picture. It was magical for the 1st time to hear the heart beat at 10weeks to have been just us and no technician. We had had a dating scan at 8weeks and saw a heartbeat but weren’t played any audio. This was also helpful to find the area to aim the doppler. My partner didn’t believe me at 1st but took my pulse as we listened and his expression said it all. No concerns came up in any of the check ups. Baby was head down from the 20 weeks scan and he didn’t move out from this position. I was never uncomfortable or waiting for it to be over. My midwife was always commenting on how calm I was and saying 'Are you SURE you don't have anything your worried about or want to discuss??' My son wasn’t overly active but had a set movement pattern that I go used to quickly. I had no uncomfortable rib jabs but did over do it one day and hurt a muscle in my ribs. It went away just in time for the pelvic pressure to start, but it was never unbearable. Especially with regular Yoga and Chiropractic care to help. My partner had a theory that labour wasn’t going to start soon because I wasn’t complaining yet. At 28 weeks we did some maternity pictures. I had my belly painted by a great artist who later painted my belly cast that we did ourselves at 38weeks. We set up a 3d ultrasound, as being considered low risk, we weren’t due to have anymore scans after 20weeks but wanted a chance to see baby again. At this appointment my partner proposed. It turns out my midwife had been in on it as well. I had booked a place and forgot then name, so she had been trying to get it out of me to tell my partner. He ended up calling lots of places to see where I had booked, many wouldn’t say anything due to privacy. In the end he found the place and instead of them labelling my sons heart or foot etc, the technician put ‘will you marry my daddy’. I turned into a blubbering mess, covered in ultrasound gel and with my belly exposed in our engagement photo! I was excited and looking forward to meeting my baby. But had it in my head that 1st time mums usually go into labour at 41w3d on average. So I worked until 38 weeks. I would have gone longer but my workplace shut down for Christmas and I would have needed a 2nd Dr clearance for them to have let me. I didn’t want to sit at home bored- yoga and swimming had also stopped for the holiday break. We also learnt that the job offer my partner had had fallen through so I wanted the chance to save as much money as I could. On boxing day we decided to have our phones off to anyone except our midwife and my friend who would be attending the birth. We both stopped any social media and focused on the last time we would get having it just be the 2 of us. We went on some dates and just spend lots of time together. I wasn’t aware of Braxton hicks until my 38 week appointment (which was actually done at 38 and a half weeks due to the holidays) when I had one while my midwife was measuring me and pointed it out. She asked if id noticed that happening the past few weeks but I said no as I didn’t feel anything while it was happening. We joked that I would probably have a new years baby because she wasn’t on call over that time for and I was desperate to NOT have a holiday baby. She gave us the list of natural induction methods so we could actively avoid each and every possible one of them! Myth or not, I wasn’t taking any chances but we decided that we would allow ourselves to resume life as normal with hot curry and beach walks after Jan 2nd 2017. (due date was 6th Jan) We went to a float tank experience just after Boxing Day. The pamphlet said it could start labour but my midwife said ‘no go for it, it will leave you feeling relaxed but that’s all” She left saying ‘ I don’t think I will see you for a 39 week appointment. Have a good new year’s eve and see you at the birth centre’ I just smiled and nodded thinking she was joking….. Birthing story coming soon!
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